I wanted to take a moment to get on here and let you all know that I’ll be taking the rest of the year off from blogging, and I plan to return in full swing come January. As many of you are already aware, my mother passed away in December of last year, and this will be my very first full holiday season without her. I won’t sugarcoat things; I genuinely need this time to process everything.

One Year. It’s easy for someone to say to me that you’ve been watching me this year, watching all the amazing memories I made in your honor. The fact is while that may be true to some - I wanted you here to experience it with me.

time to get a little real. last weekend I spent time cleaning out quite a bit of my mother’s apartment. getting it ready for the landlord to take back, renovate & jack up the price to about 5k or so. I get a lot of shit when people dig into why I didn’t keep it. people don’t ask for a full story there and so I let them think i’m the bad guy. I am not.

As the holiday season approaches, many bloggers find themselves grappling with a common dilemma: should they continue posting new content or consider taking a well-deserved break? With the constant pressure to consistently produce high-quality content, it's all too easy to feel a sense of guilt about stepping away from the keyboard. But here's the important truth: taking a break from blogging during the bustling holiday season is not only necessary but also immensely beneficial for both your creativity and overall well-being.

It is no secret, the struggles I've been having all year. While I've never completely put them on full display enough of you know the truth. Enough of you know I've just been a a never-ending brain fog all year. The heaviness has never left me since my mother died. I can't believe it's been almost a year.

If you were to tell the woman in this photo about the kind of year 2024 would turn out to be, she would likely laugh in disbelief and then cry out of both joy and sadness, but ultimately laugh again. It’s been one of the most transformative years of my life thus far, and it is nowhere near its conclusion. As I gaze at her, I can't help but marvel at all the incredible growth and the inner strength that radiates from her every day.

Someone asked me recently “What's been healing you lately?” & it took me a second to come up with an answer. Many people know i’m on a journey this year. When my mom passed away it all of a sudden became a journey of discovery. What life is like without her. What decisions I make from here on in aren't guided by her wealth of knowledge.

I can't believe it has been a whole year since I made one of the best decisions of my life. In August of last year while Armand was away on a trip I walked into my gynecologist's office and got an IUD inserted. If you've been here for a while you know I didn't take that decision lightly. It took me three years to get to that appointment after listening to many horror stories and having other forms of birth control fail my body.

I’ve been kinda loving life lately. Usually, the summer season doesn't bring about much joy but this year it's different. All the anniversaries and firsts without my mom all take place in the winter, spring & fall. This is truly the only pocket of time where nothing is making me cry. Do I have my moments? Absolutely. In fact, there was a night already this week when Armand had to just stand there and hug me.

You noticed it. I’m sure you did. The name change. The blog changed. EVERYTHING changes. I’ve wanted to change my name for two years. For two years I debated it. Ask Armand he will tell you. I have long been free of the word “magic” and for a while there sure I took the girl loves magic to mean loving anything whimsical and free. It didn't feel right. It didn't feel like me.

Have I mentioned to you guys the tug of war in my heart every few months? The one where I fight the urge to get on a plane with a one-way ticket anywhere but NYC. How this city has slowly taken from me for 37 years and most days I'm over it? No? I haven't! Dang. Well…

Ok. I’m ready for the noise to come back. I've had four days to myself and I'm ready for the silence to end for a bit. Every so often either I go on a trip or Armand will and we allow ourselves time away. Honestly, if I wasn't so tired I maybe would have gone to L.A. too but seeing everything he did in just four days I would have been no good to him lol. I was happy cleaning and rotting on the couch.